Updated: Aug 3, 2019
Whenever we don't release pain, it becomes stored in our bodies. Due to traumatic events we may experience, we may block out memories but the body itself will store it and activate whenever it is triggered. Each time we experience a trigger, that pain is lived out once again as it is happening for the first time. Because it has become so natural for us to be in pain for some, we feel that it is our normal way of being. We become comfortable in these denser energies which sometimes can lead us to believe that there is no way out. From what I’ve seen in myself and others is that as long as we are reliving the trauma on an energetic level, the more we feel the need to escape and be out of our bodies. This gives us the urge to numb ourselves (drugs, sex, day dreaming, etc.) as we begin to block ourselves off from what we are feeling in our body all together. Although we do this to escape pain, our bodies are still needed to let us know what is going on energetically and plays a part with our intuition. Most of our triggers in life are a reflection of a wound that has not been healed and is being played out in our external world. Due to this our pain body can become extremely active, resulting in constant triggering, mood swings and other side affects that are common from abuse/trauma. This is why healing and releasing pain in the body is essential in terms of breaking free from emotional pain addiction and aligning to your true self.
All of us are dissociated from our reality and ourselves on some level because at one point, we have experienced conditioning and trauma. It doesn't matter how much or how bad this trauma was because at the end of the day pain is perception just like anything.
We are multidimensional beings coming from a much higher frequency. What we experience here in this 3D construct will be traumatic because it is not natural to us per say. So with that being said, we all dissociate and have what you call distractions or addictions. We pick up these up because we are in survival mode and we instinctively want to numb the pain in our bodies. Even though this trauma isn't happening anymore in the present moment, on an energetic level it is.
To give an example I started dissociating when i was about 6 or 7. The experience that I've felt was feeling numb and tingly in my body and had the ability to be outside my body whenever I got in this state (like a floating sensation). It was as if I never wanted to be in my body because whenever I would invert back, I'd feel pain. I also began to daydream constantly, always not in the present moment (maladaptive daydreaming) along with other numbing distractions. This went on for many years. Apart from this was me also being extremely open energetically at a very high level starting from such a young age.
Until I recognized this as a distraction or a coping mechanism, I never understand why or questioned it. The more consciously aware I become, I was then able to identify my coping mechanisms and realized I was addicted to emotional pain.
This addiction to emotional pain is something a lot of us struggle with. One example of a person addicted to emotional pain is having a history of loving unavailable people and staying in intolerable relationships. It becomes a constant cycle of reactivating the emotional pain body, indulging in the negative feelings such as anger, worry, grief, fear, or depression. Your body becomes addicted to this pain being stored and you begin to not know life without pain. On a deeper level we hold on to it and is very hard for us to let go. This is why change is very difficult and is a conscious choice.
Letting go of past pain and trauma requires you to be conscious of it and make a choice to change and let go of those distractions. The way I see it is you have yourself, your distraction/addictions and then your pain. When we move into this trauma and pain that's where we focus on releasing and learn to hold space for yourself while in your pain. This is uncomfortable for many and requires much strength while learning self love and acceptance. It is also why shadow and inner child work can be painful because you are ultimately breaking away from your addictions and old beliefs.
Now what is the beauty of going through this process? Well after this uncomfortable stage, you begin to reclaim your own power back and align with your true self, not the person that's in pain. You begin to live life consciously and not in a survivors mode mentality. It is similar to waking up from a coma because you realized you have been simply surviving and not living.
But this is a choice and is the first step in your healing process. It is affirming you are no longer the victim, but the creator of your reality..